Sitting Here and Thinking

A lot of the time when most of us are given the opportunity and free time, we use it for what can probably turn out for the worst. Such as:

-Over thinking the most embarrassing thing (I do this a lot and today I probably let the other night run through my head a million times because I embarrassed myself so much.)

-Procrastinating (Instead of doing my homework, I nap…yes nap…because sleep is precious in college and shouldn’t be taken for granted)

-Doing something illegal (Yes, I do this a lot. Such as on a Friday night, why must an 18 year old feel the need to go get shit faced, when instead they can go to a movie or catch up on a good book. But then again, here I am disagreeing with my own thoughts. Because getting shit faced is a great way to relieve stress from the week. Not necessary, but great.)

-Wondering “why the f*%k am I sitting here when  I can be out with friends”..then realizing, “oh wait…I need friends to go out with friends”

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Lost at Sea

wildflower

I’m writing this post without editing it. I’m just putting all my feelings and emotion out here right now because I need to.

I’m just feeling a whirlwind of emotions right now. Last year I felt confident, now I find that I’m comparing myself to others. I feel like my life is flying uncontrollably out of my hands. Like I am a boat caught up in a storm.

I feel like I’m trying to keep up three lives instead of just one. I have my best friends I met freshman year outside of my sorority, my sorority life, and my academic life. Oh and then I have family life, so make that four.

I’m in the process of getting initiated into Chi Omega, so that takes up a lot of my time. Then I have my best friends who, even though I live right across the hall from them, I…

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Alone Again…

Has anyone else every experieinced this?:
-Meet new friends
-Hangout for a while
-Introduce them to one of your other friends
-Forever ditched because they like your other friend more than you.
I don’t even know how to react to this because I don’t know anyone else here besides the few people I have met. Being 1,200 miles away from home certainly has it’s down falls and that includes not being close to people who I have known my whole life.

The Color of Fear

Gretchen Leary

I always thought that I was raised to believe that something was simply right or wrong and that there is nothing in between. But there is: It’s called fear. If darkness is everywhere and light is also everywhere… then fear must have a home along that same spectrum.

We know that fear does not live in the light. It cowers like nothing else in this universe. So analytically speaking, not only does fear itself live in darkness, it is actually a part of it. It has it’s own shade of black that we call gray.

People often confuse fear with religious submission but I can attest to the fact that living in fear for so many years is living in a Hell of your own creation. Fear speaks, it breathes whatever life we offer it, and it lives within all of us. We all face it and we each choose…

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We all know this one

Soooo…

I’m a brand new college kid. Well I’ve been here a little over 2 months, but anyways I just thought about trying something out something new. Something that I can see if I can keep up with (which will probably happen.) I just sometimes want to share my thoughts or questions and then…no one. Because In reality I don’t have many close friends here. The people I have become attached to remind me of those who I tried to avoid in high school. So here I am. Alone. Unknown. Scared.